December 11, 2016
New Yorkers are always in pursuit of having it all. A thriving career, the fabulous apartment, that perfect partner, and of course to look their absolute best. So we go to the gym. A lot. So much, in fact, that our social lives begin to suffer as a consequence. This leads to something that I call the “Gym Creeper Syndrome,” a serious condition that affects mostly heterosexual males aged 18-35 who exhibit any of the following gym offenses:
- Staring at a girl using the seated chest press machine until she calls security
- Interrupting her while she’s on the elliptical and totally in the zone (not cool)
- Giving [unwarranted] assistance to help improve her form while doing squats
You see, in this crazy world, the gym is really one of the last safe and sacred spaces, so please don’t take that away from us. If that hottie is banging out her 6 miles on the treadmill with her Beats by Dre in, then guess what?
She doesn’t want to talk to you.
Wrong place, wrong time, bro.
Okay, now that my gym rant is over, I’d like to offer you a more socially acceptable option for picking up girls, one that actually works — Exercise classes. Just as long as you choose the right class coupled with an appropriate time and approach, meeting the girl of your dreams will be no sweat.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that spinning is one of the hottest ways to blast serious calories and get a major adrenaline rush. Flywheel boasts top-notch studios that are generously scattered throughout Manhattan, so it’s an easy way to meet a girl who lives in your neighborhood. I find the Flywheel crowd far more down to earth and approachable compared to it’s uber-trendy and slightly snooty SoulCycle sister, which in our case is a huge bonus. Besides Flywheel’s rockin’ playlist that’s sure to keep you motivated, their key defining feature is the Torqboard, which allows you to partake in friendly competition with your fellow riders. The technology gives you the ability to track where you are in the pack just by finding your username and bike number on the screens above. It also gives you the potential for a little friendly flirting (after class of course) as you whisper to the hottie on Bike 7, “Hey Krista83 — you really killed it today!”
If you go for the type of girl who’s ambitious and a bit feisty, try Flywheel to really get something in motion.
Location:: Various in Manhattan, Price: Average $34 per class
2. Broadway Bodies
I’m not quite sure where it came from, but this whole misconception about guys who dance being uncool or effeminate needs to be debunked NOW. Every single woman will tell you that any man who can dance (or at least puts in the effort) is seriously sexy. I’m not telling you to start taking Beginner’s Tap at Steps on Broadway, but a couple classes at Broadway Bodies will loosen up those hips, teach you some killer moves for the club, and surround you with lovely and vivacious women who will adore you just for being there. We find a straight man with the balls to take a dance class so unbelievably attractive because it shows they’re confident and secure in their manhood. Plus, everyone knows that a man who can dance is someone who will not disappoint in other areas (wink).
Classes are taught by actual broadway choreographers, and classes focus on either a single pop artist or Broadway show. You could learn an entire number from Kinky Boots, or the Bruno Mars Super bowl choreography to “Uptown Funk.” Take a chance and have fun with this one — these classes have a NO JUDGEMENT policy and are truly for all levels.
If you really want to show your inner fierceness, try the Beyonce class–you’ll be surrounded by “All the Single Ladies” kin no time!
Location: Chelsea Studios, 151 West 26th Street, 6th Floor, Price: $20 per class
3. Barry’s Bootcamp
Have you ever noticed that it’s sometimes easier to bond with those around you when you’re put in stressful, intense and even miserable conditions? Well, this perfectly describes Barry’s Bootcamp. Kidding (sort of.) Not for the weak or faint of heart, Barry’s Bootcamp will give you an hour-long, full body, kick ass workout, which includes interval cardiovascular & strength training as well as a different workout each day (be sure to check out Tuesday’s class if you happen to be a “butt guy.”) If you like to party, you’ll appreciate the blaring house music, and if you like it rough, then you’ll love their truly “bootcamp” vibe. But they do not mess around here, so prepared to get yelled at. If you catch someone’s eye in the midst of catching your breath, then go ahead and say Hey after class; perhaps the two of you can even commiserate over a protein smoothie. And the best part is that most classes are made up of far more women than men.
If you happen to be attracted to women who like a good challenge, then give Barry’s Bootcamp a try. Just make sure you’re in decent enough shape to keep up!
3 Locations in NYC: Chelsea, Tribeca and Noho, Price: $34 per class
4. Throwback Fitness
Do you yearn for the days of a simpler time when you were king of the playground? Throwback Fitness will really take you back and show you a helluva good time. Called a “summer camp for adults” this light-hearted class is meant for young professionals who want an intense workout but also to socialize and have fun as a group. It features total body classics like squats, kettle bells, and burpees mixed with games and competitions that will make you feel like you’re back in 8th grade PE class! You’ll really build a sense of camaraderie as you’re divided into teams or paired off into couples (love connection anyone?) And if a rousing game of Dodgeball or Capture the Flag doesn’t break the ice, I don’t think anything will!
If you like girls with a playful spirit who don’t take themselves too seriously, this throwback’s a real winner.
Location: 303 5th Ave #207 Price: $19 per class
You didn’t think I’d forget this one, did you? If you’re someone who likes to feel your heart beating out of your chest and to be pushed to your physical limit (not to mention be surrounded by the hottest and strongest females in the entire city) you’ve gotta try a CrossFit class. This is one of those instances where I’d let any possible romances organically unfold — Do not push anything. You’ll be frequenting the studio often and be building a real sense of family with the rest of the class as you become stronger and move up the ladder of levels. The key is to be supportive to everyone (not just the girl you have your eye on), push yourself and others, and be a real team player. Who knows maybe you’ll score more than a killer six pack!
If you have a penchant for rugged girls who like to feel the burn, THIS is your class.
Location: Various in Manhattan Price: Monthly varies from $119- $225