January 27, 2018
1. No candlelit dinners on the first date
Dinner and candles might sound nice, but in reality it can be slightly overwhelming for a first date, especially if you met online. Keep formal or romantic dinners on standby for when mutual attraction has been established. When we are getting to know a guy we want an atmosphere that lends itself well to the experience. So pick a first date location that gives you that opportunity. A busy bar or an activity-based date, such as bowling or Karaoke, is not only less formal, but because there’s lots going on you will both find it easier to find things to talk about. PLUS it will encourage you to both relax and be yourselves. First dates can be awkward, so prevent awkward moments with some pre-planning.
2. Choose bespoke compliments
Or should I say avoid endless generic compliments and replace them with just one unique compliment.
You will not win a woman over with throw away pleasantries such as “you have lovely eyes” or “you have beautiful hair.”
These types of compliments will make you come across as a people pleaser, and generic compliments can often indicate a generic personality. Look out for something that we have made an effort in. This could be our makeup, our choice of shoes or the overall style that we’ve taken the time to create, rather than something that has been bestowed upon us as a result of a ‘lucky gene pool’. Keep your compliments detailed and bespoke. A compliment that’s made to feel that it has been constructed specifically for her will make much more of an impact.
3. Women love a flirt
With each generation, men are getting worse at the art of flirting. Many men think that flirting is sleazy or creepy. But the reality is that a good flirt always makes us feel good. It also helps move the interaction into the direction of something less platonic and more exciting. A good flirt will be unashamed about how he feels and will be able to recognize the fine line that when crossed leads to overkill. Always remember to add humor to some of your flirtatious comments, and keep in mind that timing is everything. Holding her gaze for a little too long after you flirt can make her feel uncomfortable because she feels she has to repay the compliment. Instead, change the subject. Not out of embarrassment, but because you know that flirting is there to add playfulness and lead to real chemistry.
4. Your body language must be congruent with your words
Do you realize that attraction is 70% non-verbal?! You could be the best conversationalist on the planet, but if your body language and energy is weak or lacks confidence, then whatever you say will be dwarfed by this factor. Keep an eye on what your hands are doing. Are they showing your nerves? Does your posture scream out insecurity? Is your eye contact that of a confident man or a terrified young boy? By changing your body language, you’ll find that your emotions and frame of mind will gradually follow suit. So even if you’re feeling nervous, make sure you force yourself to tweak your body language. I promise it will give you the boost that you need.
5. Never make yourself OVER available
So she wants to meet you for another date — Great! Now you’re happy and willing to sacrifice most days of the week to see her again. Right? WRONG!!! This is a BIG mistake guys make when they meet a girl they like. Never make yourself too available. Always convey the fact that you have lots going on in your life, and that although you want to see her again, this does not mean she automatically becomes your main priority. If you do make her a high priority too soon, she will not appreciate the time she gets to spend with you as much. A man who conveys the fact that his time is limited and precious will find that girls are far less likely to flake on him when it comes to follow up dates. Plus, remember that we love the chase just as much as you do!
Leading attraction coach for men: Kezia Noble