January 27, 2018
Meeting a guy has never been easier–only a swipe right away. It’s almost as easy as ordering food from Delivery.com. Here are 7 ways online dating is as simple as ordering dinner.
Step 1: Know your type
Delivery.com: What am I in the mood for tonight? Chinese? Indian? Tacos perhaps? I could go with the $10 Lo Mein or maybe I want to splurge on the Sushi Deluxe platter for $25…
OkCupid: Am I in the mood for someone athletic and fit or someone to snuggle with? It’s cold tonight and I also don’t want him to be skinnier than me! He’s got to be over 6 feet though.
Step 2. How Far Are You Willing to Go for Love (or a Decent Meal)?
Delivery.com: I can either order from my favorite place in Chelsea and wait 55 minutes, or I can order from the super quick Chinese guy down the street and get my dinner in 20.
Tinder: Josh is so hot but 15 miles away. Do I really want to deal with that? Jason looks decent and is in walking distance to my apartment. That sounds a whole lot better to me! Oooh Sam’s cute too, but he’s all the way in Canada! How did I even get matched with him? Though I do like a good accent…
3. First Impression
Delivery.com: This menu is confusing and the food doesn’t look that appetizing!
OkCupid: Why are all these pics taken in either a car or a public restroom? Don’t these guys have any friends?
Ooh, got a message… “Hey girl, U down to f**k?”
[sigh] This may be harder than I anticipated.
4. Pick-up or Delivery?
Delivery.com: It’s too cold outside for pickup, but then again I could use the exercise.
Tinder: I really need to get off this couch–all I do is stay home and swipe! Should I actually go out to the bar tonight with my friends and meet someone IRL? Do I even possess social skills anymore?
5. Satisfaction Level
Delivery.com: UGH why did I order the double cheese deep dish pizza AND the calzone AND the caesar salad?????! Get me the TUMS and Pepto STAT!!
Hinge: Thank god that date is over. He just talked about himself the entire date AND looked nothing like his pictures. Ugh, where’s the wine?
6. My Post Meal/Date Review
Delivery.com: That Pad Thai was amazing, and the Delivery guy was so friendly–5 stars for sure!!
Match.com: Wow, that date couldn’t have gone any better! This could really be the ONE! I gotta call my mom and tell her all about her potential future son-in-law.
7. Refer a Friend
Delivery.com: Delivery.com Order Promo : $13 Refer a Friend Bonus + 25% Off
OkCupid: “Hey John– Loved meeting you last night. Random question–do you have any hot guy friends (don’t worry, not for ME lol) I want to hook up my cute friend, Sarah. I thought maybe we can double!”